Zombies Stink (and Vampires Suck)

"Cover" for various download sites where the song is available.

“Cover” for various download sites where the song is available.

OK, I’ll state right now that I’ve enjoyed more than my share of both zombie and vampire tales. Still, I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that I think maybe, just maybe, both zombies and vampires have been have been overused for several years now–in books, movies, TV, and comics. One day it occurred to me that both statements in that title up there could be seen as literally and figuratively true. Before you know it, a set of lyrics poking fun at the zombie/vampire glut had flowed from the old pen. Eventually I got around to putting them to music–a roots rock/rockabilly song emerged–and even more eventually to recording the song. Clicking on the icon below will play the recording of the song, and the lyrics are below the icon.



Zombies Stink and Vampires Suck

Cruisin’ long in my hybrid ride
NPR on the air inside
Terry Gross had an author on
Who had just written The Zombie Dawn
Got news for you hacks out to make a buck
Zombies stink and vampires suck

Zombies stink and vampires suck
I don’t care how you jive and shuck
I bet you actually had enough
Vampires and zombies and all their stuff
It makes no sense, I don’t care what’s been said
That zombies eat brains when they’re all dead.

And what’s so great ‘bout slurping up blood?
Your average vamp’s a stone cold dud
Sleepin’ in coffins don’t look like fun
Or always hidin’ out from the sun
All these sullen, sultry undead
‘bout to drive me outta my head

Zombies shufflin’ on down the street
Are lame and tired and let me repeat
This world needs another vampire tale
Like we need more junk in the mail
If you’re lookin’ for fans you’re flat outta luck
Cause Zombies stink and vampires suck

I recorded all the track with Garage Band, except for the drums, which Robert Marshall recorded at The Cave Recording in Evanston, Illinois, where the song was also mixed and mastered.

You’ll find “Zombies Stink (and Vampires Suck)” just about anywhere that sells musical downloads.

About kentmcdanielwrites

Writer and musician.

8 Responses to “Zombies Stink (and Vampires Suck)”

  1. You’re a poet—and a good one, Kent…great job with the lyrics!

  2. Not bad at all, Kent. I liked that! When I first read the lyics the meter reminded me of Chuck Berry’s old song “Hail, Hail Rock ‘n Roll” but you didn’t perform it like that at all. Very good!

    Cruisin’ long in my hybrid ride vs. Ridin’ along in my automobile ect., ect.

    See what I mean?

    • You’re a perceptive guy, John. I actually wrote these lyrics thinking of them going to the melody of Berry’s “No Particular Place To Go,” which is exactly the same as the melody to his other song “School Days” (Hail, hail rock ‘n roll! Deliver me from the days of old!). Then all my songwriter friends told me what a major hassle it would be to get permission to use Berry’s melody for my lyrics, if I wanted to record the song. So I just sat down and put the lyrics to my own chords and melody (which came out as a pretty straight ahead rockabilly groove). So you flipped me out when you saw the connection. “No Particular Place to Go” reminds me of that pink convertible you had way back when. :o)

  3. Lot of good times back in the day, weren’t there?

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